“If you were born in same womb as me, then why are you so different than us?” My sister always question this to me and I didn’t had any answer to give her at that time. When now, after ten years, I recall it again and I know the exact answer but she stopped, asking. Being a daughter in a family, we always need to follow the culture and the perfectionism whether you are in Nepal, India, United State of America, United Kingdom, China or wherever. Its a must!
I, myself a daughter who was born and raised in a country which is highly perspectively educated and developed country. As a daughter, no matter how educated you are, you must obey to your parents. Respect elders, don’t talk to any guys, don’t go out at night, don’t wear short shorty skirt in front of your father, brothers or anyone else, go to work and come straight to home, do housework, no hangouts, no friends are allowed, sit decently and the most annoying one, married with a guy who is a parents choice and no other race! Strictly forbidden. Are we, Hindu’s daughter a prisoners? I thought this happens only in an undeveloped country but I was wrong, totally wrong!
When I was a kid, my mother taught me all those things which I don’t understand like you are a big girl now, you must know how to behave, you have to wear a bra, you have too! At that age, that age of playing and jumping around, I started to act like a lady, a real old lady in fact I was just eleven. So how about other girls who is nine, ten? As a mother, they being concern is a right thing. They got scared because when a daughter came to a puberty age, they wanted us to know how the world sees us. Raping, sexual harassment and so on kind of cases always bothers them as a parents and that’s why they teach us to obey them. But does all those children understands it? When I don’t, how come all they does?
Does the word “Perfectionism” is made only for Hindu’s daughter?
No it doesn’t. In Malaysia, you can see many races like Islam, Christian, Sikh and so on. I have friends in many races but the way they’ve been raised is different than mine. When I started to go to the college and mingle around with students from different countries. I realized my life is so backward. They wear short skirts, they talk to boys, they hang out, they have friends, they have a life. Most of the touching things is they hug and kisses their parents. Their parents knows all of their daughter’s friends whether its she or he. When I turn around and observed, all the Hindu’s daughter include myself wearing a long pant, no make-up on face and no best friends. I questions myself, “Aren’t they daughters too? Then why her father hugs her, kisses her, hold her hand? Why is she wearing short dress, doesn’t she respect elders? Or she haven’t yet be a big girl?”
When I was nineteen, I meet a girl who is a Tamil means a Hindu’s daughter too. She used to be a good friend of mine. She took me to her house without informing my mother. She introduce me to her family. Her elder brother was a pilot and married to a Chinese girl and they have a son, at that time. Her sister married with a American and settled back there in United State. She was she only one left with her parents. I asked her “Doesn’t your parents pissed off, your siblings married with different races?” She laughed. While sitting I questioned her mother that “Am I the only one who came to your house as her friend?” Her mother said “Ohw no! There’s Andy, Shiva, Alex, Tulsi, Praveen, Ridzuan and Rakesh and you. Why dear?” “In all among only Tulsi and me are her girlfriends?” The answer which given by her mother make me realize that, life shouldn’t be raised in fear. Being a Hindu’s daughter is not born to be in obeying. All daughters in the world is not born to be in fear or raised in fear. Daughters are pride to all parents. Daughters are the only friends for parents for rest of their life. Daughters are the only person who knows what is “Love”. Its not because our parents taught us how to walk or sit or talk or behave, its already in us. So stop teaching your daughters being in fear, if not she’ll end up being you.
“A daughter is a human just like a son. If a son can have 10 girlfriends among his 3 guy friends, why not a daughter does it reversely? If a father and a mother can hug and kiss their son even after puberty, why not they do the same to their daughters? If a son married to a different race women and parents accept it, why not they does the same to their daughters? If puberty changes a daughter become a women, it does changes a son to become a man. If raping happens among daughters, it happens among sons too. World is hell, world is heaven. Son is a supporter, daughters are meant to be a fighters”
–Told by a Hindu’s daughter/wife–
–Told by Mother of my old good friend–
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Copyright © 2015 by Radha.K Chettri
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